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| Adding all of our logos in there was totally not worth it. |
PICKS #1-10
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| Philadelphia Quakers |
"And with the first pick of the Season 14 MLB draft, the Quakers select...Jimmie...wait no....Ramiro Sanchez?!?" Yes he's no Jimmie Johnson, but this down and dirty Sanchez should be a great singles hitter and OBP machine, patrolling CF and hitting at the top of the order. Of course he's also the type of player who can be injured sneezing like Sammy Sosa, "washing his truck" like Jeff Kent, or "fluffing to take a picture" like Brett Favre...wait, that's how he was hurt?
DRAFT GRADE: A-
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| Atlanta Braves |
Jerry?...I don't know sometimes....Jerry Stanley strikes me as a Sam Bowie...#2 overall, drafted right before "Michael Jordan," can be a solid player, but not an impact one. Sure he'll be a great long reliever with a absolute rubber arm, but isn't like that being the world's tallest midget...with a rubber arm? That's a weird visual. Atlanta fans are hoping this pick isn't a Stanley Steamer.
DRAFT GRADE: B
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| Detroit Faith |
Much like Michael Jordan, Mr. Jimmie Johnson goes #3. Ok, so this is what I have for his projections: ... Ah sweet Hardball tension. But seriously folks, it doesn't take much or any scouting to realize this guy is going to be a machine. Jimmie is the best player in the draft, and honestly the best player in any draft since I've been around. When interviewed, Johnson had this to say, "Jimmie was looking to be drafted in the first five rounds. Jimmie was. Jimmie plays pretty good. Jimmie will see you later!" Strange guy.
DRAFT GRADE: A+
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| Vancouver Primetimers |
Vancouver decided to take the second CF in the first 4 picks, but the first with a pornstar name. As a player, Harry Wood should be able to Ward off incoming pitches with his massive power and solid contact, despite low splits. But with his low health can Harry remain erect for an entire season? If so, he probably should a contact a doctor immediately.
DRAFT GRADE: B
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| Tacoma McGees |
Well I'm not sure if Julio will ever play short, but even as a third basemen this is a good pick. A solid all-around hitter that should be a doubles machine, Tavarez is going to Washington where his Russell Crowe - like temper can really shine. Julio's durability is a concern, but he'll probably get enough breaks during his seasonal suspensions from assault and battery charges at local Starbucks.
DRAFT GRADE: A
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| Charleston Chews |
Sixth on the board, but first in our hearts, the Chews selected Darby O'Leary, a starting pitcher with good control, velocity, groundball ratio, and pitches. But according to my scouts, his splits leave something to be desired. Projected to be a back of the rotation starter, O'Leary should be an innings eater for years. But with the sixth pick, the Chews probably wanted a player that could eat more than just innings. I bet he can't even eat 50 hot dogs in 12 minutes. And he calls himself a "Chew."
DRAFT GRADE: B-
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| Richmond Cavaliers |
I must say, two relievers drafted in the top seven is a bit surprising. The second goes to Richmond in the form of Greg Walker, a reliever that can completely shut down right handed hitters, while also being effective against the lefties. Normally I don't like the idea of a reliever being drafted so high, but given the low talent in the draft, this is a good one. Stamina is a concern, but I believe there's a medication for that. He should talk to Harry Woodward.
DRAFT GRADE: A-
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| Florida Storm |
The Storm eyed Huston Jefferies with the 8th pick, a starting pitcher in the vain of Darby O'Leary. A middle of the rotation starter, Jefferies throws hard, has good health, and a solid mustache. And now that Huston is going to Miami, that mustache should really begin to pay dividends.
DRAFT GRADE: B-
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| Wichita Gnats |
Another pick, another pitcher. This time it's Dan Lamb, a college recruit out of Cuyahoga Community College. Witchita's scouts are either very good or very desperate to be traveling to Cuyahoga, but in this case it worked. Lamb should become a very solid starting pitcher with good splits, velocity, makeup, and health. His intelligence is a concern, however, as he scored a 7 on the Wonderlic Test. And he only took the Wonderlic test because he confused MLB with NFL. Apparently they don't teach the ABC's at Cuyahoga.
DRAFT GRADE: A
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| Madison Rowengartners |
Well, this pick was a bust. The 7th player off Madison's board, Camp is yet another starting pitcher taken in the top ten. Short on name and talent, Frank will have to earn every point of his projections to make the back end of Madison's rotation. The Rowengartner's Camp is Frank when it says this draft didn't go as planned.
DRAFT GRADE: C+
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