Thursday, August 11, 2011

Hometown Season 16: Power Rankings - 2nd Half

The draft is behind us as we embark on the 2nd half of Hardball: Season 16.  I originally planned on doing a draft recap, but everyone drafted so well there didn't seem to be a point.  A's for everyone.  Here instead is the updated power rankings for the 2nd half of the season.

Each team here is beyond hope for season 16.  It's time to look to the future.  You've just been erased.

32. Rochester Diggities (Previous: 32)
New prospects project great future. 
31. Philadelphia Fighting Quakers (Previous: 26)
He's luggage. 
30. Jackson 25's (Previous: 27)
In danger of missing wins requirement. 
29. Cincinnati Red Stockings (Previous: 30)
New prospects bring new hope.
28. Scranton Dundees (Previous: 23)
Bulletin board does nothing.

A game nobody survives.  Hello cutie pie.  One of us is in deep trouble.

27. Wichita Gnats (Previous: 14)
So much for the repeat performance. 
26. Chicago Curses (Previous: 20)
Now plain - zero!
25. Memphis Mudhens (Previous: 28)
Nolan Ball: I'll live to see you eat that contract.  But I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!
24. Milwaukee Cervezeros (Previous: 24)
Signs of hope for the future.
23. Jacksonville Green Disease (Previous: 31)
Gave way, regrouping.
22. Detroit Faith (Previous: 8)
Losing Faith. 

It might seem like things are going well enough.  But it's all a lie.  You're fired.

21. Tucson Toros (Previous: 17)
Tough division.
20. St. Louis Lunatics (Previous: 22)
See above.
19. Tacoma McGees (Previous: 29)
On the rise.
18. Atlanta Braves (Previous: 25)
Serious slide after great start.
17. Baltimore Beavers (Previous: 16)
Start of turnaround?

Two of these teams should make the playoffs. Tonight's forecast: a freeze is coming.

16. Montreal Midget Mafia (Previous: 9) 
Trying to kick some ice. 
15. Honolulu Cyclones (Previous: 13)
Trying to chill.
14. Tampa Bay Florida Retirees (Previous: 21)
Freezing in hell. 
13. Richmond Cavaliers (Previous: 19)
Needs to make a move before deadline for chance. 
12. Pawtucket Patriot Ale (Previous: 18)
Free agency paying off.  Injuries are not.
11. Vancouver Primetimers (Previous: 12)
Still sticking with my upset pick.

Playoff teams hunting down the top teams in Hometown.  If it bleeds, we can kill it.

10. Monterrey Jack Cheese (Previous: 11)
Chad Grilli Cheese.  I can't believe it took me that long to come up with that.
9. Salem Slims (Previous: 15)
Makin' moves.  Workin' it.  Workin' it.
8. Omaha Bluffs (Previous: 6)
Still the Lebron James of Hometown. 
7. Texas Instruments (Previous: 10)
I'm not sure Carl Paul bleeds.  I don't think we can kill it.  
6. Madison Rowengartners  (Previous: 7)
Do it!  C'mon!  Do it now!!! 
5. Arizona High Heat (Previous: 5)
Behind in the standings, but each year finds a way.
4. Buffalo Wild Wings (Previous: 4)

The top teams, terminators, are trained to kill their opponents.  Hasta la vista, baby.

3. Washington D.C. Senators (Previous: 3)
Pitching staff cannot self-terminate.
2. Little Rock Patriots (Previous: 2)
Turned corner after "rock"y start.
1. Toronto FivTs (Previous: 1)
Robotic consistency.  His CPU is a neural net processor; a learning computer.

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