Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hometown Season 16 Preview: Power Rankings

And we're back.  A new season of Hometown has arrived with new owners, renewed competition, steamy conversation, and boundless hope.  Some teams have dreams of winning it all, while with others winning is really just a dream...within a dream...within a dream...

INCEPTION
The only way they'll be convinced they can win is if someone plants that idea deep in their subconscious. 

32. Rochester Diggities
New owner, new hope?  
31. Jacksonville Green Disease
Gave way, looks to regroup.  
30. Cincinnati Red Stockings
Let's see one first.
29. Tacoma McGees
Looking to the international market for help?
28. Memphis Mudhens
Bruce Hawkins could be start of something good.  But Nolan Ball?  Oh dear.

LIMBO
Stay with the same rosters, and they might be lost forever.

27. Jackson 25's
On the mend; good waiver help.
26. Philadelphia Fighting Quakers
Been lost in limbo for 15 seasons. 
25. Atlanta Braves
John Rocker-like fury ignites the squad.   
24. Milwaukee Cervezeros
Looking to rebuild after years of competitiveness?
23. Scranton Dundees
Talent is old or gone, rebuild?  
22. St. Louis Lunatics
Best chance to wake up from limbo. 

LEVEL 3 DREAM: "SNOW FORTRESS"
Every time I'm in a snow fortress, something bad happens.  And with the slightest disturbance, this dream's going to collapse. 

21. Tampa Bay Florida Retirees
Looking for a comeback.
20. Chicago Curses
If name is any indication, they're screwed. 
19. Richmond Cavaliers
Hard to figure. 
18. Pawtucket Patriot Ale
Loading up in free agency, enough to best D.C.? 
17. Tucson Toros
Presses; needs more.

LEVEL 2 DREAM: "THE HOTEL" 
They've traveled to their opponents' cities.  They're waking up for the game.  But will they leave that hotel?  It does have a free continental breakfast.

16. Baltimore Beavers
Professional debut. 
15. Salem Slims
Making a big push in free agency; chance.
14. Wichita Gnats
Repeat performance?
13. Honolulu Cyclones
See above. 
12. Vancouver Primetimers
My upset pick.  Make sure to include in all your gimmick bets.
11. Monterrey Jack Cheese
Will age finally catch up?
10. Texas Instruments
Win, Place, or Glue.  

LEVEL 1 DREAM: "VAN CHASE"
In the van chasing after reality, hoping they hit that water and get that late season kick before it's too late...

9. Montreal Midget Mafia
Lost a lot of talent to free agency.
8. Detroit Faith
Almost made the WS last year.  Good value bet here.
7. Madison Rowengartners
Closer, likes to stay with the pack until the end.
6. Omaha Bluffs
The Lebron James of Hometown.
5. Arizona High Heat  
Makes the WS roughly every other year.  Will be a favorite, but should he be put out to stud? 
4. Buffalo Wild Wings
His motha' was a mudda'.

REALITY
In reality, they are the true contenders.  Let me just spin this top to make sure we're in reality....and it looks.....like.....it....is........starting......to............wo........

3. Washington D.C. Senators
Until that pitching staff dies, always a threat.   
2. Little Rock Patriots
Has bested Toronto in two of the last three years.  Why not again?  
1. Toronto FivTs  
Winner of the S.15 WS, the true team to beat, no matter how many players are released.

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