|Now this is a Christmas gift.|
Ok everyone we're back after the strike shortened Season 17 with more HBD power rankings. And thanks to my wonderful Christmas present of a Rick Post action figure, these will be "action" themed rankings:
"If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love." Tragic, but true, as these teams pay the ultimate price - a terrible record - for a chance at future success.
|This is your wake-up call. I AM AN F...B...I AGENT!|
32. Philadelphia - Nice and reliable like an old shoe.31. Montreal - Oh (no) Canada.
30. Milwaukee - Fast tracking everyone to the majors? Oh dear.
29. Chicago - Starting to look like the Cubs...28. Cheyenne - I liked the Tacoma unis better.
27. Jacksonville - Patience will be rewarded with this one.
26. Scranton - Everything must go...especially wins.
"Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?" These teams always end up the same, making threats, but eventually getting decapitated on the roof of a train. And yes, another Keanu movie.
|We are so gonna make out later.|
25. Tampa Bay - Needs 8 more Roger Clemens.24. Kansas City - It's time for the Kansas City Shuffle
23. Rochester - It gets better...look at AAA.
22. Arizona - Starting to look like the Colts...
21. Richmond - Tough division, but shot at the WC.20. Sacramento - He's pretty good I guess.
"What's he doing? He's beginning to believe." That's right, these teams are starting to believe they have a real chance. And you know what? They just might. Also I think I'm finally out of Keanu movies.
19. Charlotte - Who doesn't hate Jim Gray and his weird head?18. St Louis - Arizona's fall breathes new life.
17. Tucson - Ditto.
16. New York - Has a real shot.
15. Wichita - Long time listener, first time caller.
14. Houston - Starting to look like the Giants...13. Cincinnati - Slowly going in right direction.
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f**k the prom queen." These teams are solid as a rock, and one of them may...just may...f**k the prom queen indeed.
|How, in the name of Zeus's butthole, did you get out of your cell?|
12. Atlanta - Tried somewhat successfully to murder his pitching staff.11. Helena - Someone call ComEd, cuz Helena's out of power.
10. Texas - What happened? Did Josh Hamilton throw a party?
9. Vancouver - Always my upset pick. I will be right someday.
8. Salem - Maybe this is the year.
7. Pawtucket - Captain Congratulations awaiting condemnations.
"Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass." Yes these are the teams that are a pain in the ass to beat - the true favorites. Anyone in this group has a serious chance to win it all.
|No f**king sh*t, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?|
6. Little Rock - Starting to look like the Jets...5. Monterrey - Two words: Sammy. Forbes.
4. Washington D.C. - Disappeared for 2 weeks, team suffered.
3. Madison - Russ Neal? Yes. Injuries? Oh no.
2. Buffalo - Could have won it all last year if not for the strike.
1. Toronto - Starting to look like the Patriots...