Hometown Season 20. Teams will Rise. Most will Fall.
THE JOKER CIRCUIT
The jokers of Hometown. The only punch in their lineups are punchlines.
32. Philadelphia - Starting to put his own signature ass groove into this spot.
31. Montreal - In terms of Canadians in Hometown, he would be the Garfunkel to Toronto's Paul Simon.
30. Chicago - Unbelievably close to the real Cubs.
29. Richmond - Needs something big to kick-start franchise.
28. Milwaukee - Is big move coming? My magic eight ball says, "Reply hazy, try again." Young guns will be expensive soon enough.
27. Atlanta - Worst free agent contract? That certainly is a joke.
THE DICK GRAYSON CIRCUIT
The "Robins" of Hometown. Not quite ready for center stage.
26. Kansas City - Going in the right direction for first time in a long time.
25. Fresno - The revamp project continues.
24. Rochester - Jimmie Johnson still in desperate need of help. Good news is there's time.
23. Cheyenne - The ch-EYE before the storm?
22. St Louis - Seems to be floating in purgatory.
21. Scranton - If there's a master plan here, I'll be more shocked and horrified than seeing John Travolta in a steam room.
THE EDWARD NIGMA CIRCUIT
The mysteries of Hometown.
We're 5 little teams of an everyday sort; playoff bound or coming up short. Who are we?
20. Jacksonville - Bringing up lots of AAA talent. They can't promise they'll try. But they'll try to try.
19. Vancouver - Maybe it's just me, but this team is still a total mystery.
18. Salem - Hard to say what direction team is headed.
17. New York - Threw a whole mess of money at Rick Burnett in hopes of avoiding another disappointing season.
16. Arizona - New owner of a team that far outperformed it's talent last season. Where does he take it?
THE BANE CIRCUIT
The bane of existence for the top teams in Hometown.
15. Charlotte - Team as exciting as watching paint dry...or living in Charlotte.
14. Houston - Disappointing finish to last season, but playoffs in sight.
13. Washington D.C. - Tiiiiiiime is not on their side. No it isn't.
12. Tampa Bay - Tried to send world-class bum Roger Clemens right out of town. Stuck with him for now...
11. Monterrey - Took a step back last season. Jumped without a parachute into free agency this year. Time will tell.
THE SELINA KYLE CIRCUIT
The sneaky teams in Hometown with a chance to get into the Bat Man's latex pants.
10. Cincinnati - Great 0-6 start to the season has Cinci primed...for a good draft pick.
9. Little Rock - Sticks and stones may break bones, but little rocks don't seem to hurt anymore.
7. Wichita - Great playoff run last year. Will be hard to repeat.
6. Pawtucket - Major minor league talent will surface in the bigs.
THE BAT MAN CIRCUIT
The "Bat Men" of Hometown. They speak with a raspy voice and carry a big stick.
5. Sacramento - Adding Cesar Gandarillas only heightens expectations.
4. Buffalo - Juiced up offense goes cold with the weather.
3. Madison - Ditto.
2. Toronto - America's hat relinquishes Hometown's crown to...
1. Helena - The Gordon Gekko of Hometown wins last year in big upset fashion. Greed has been good for Helena.
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