Hometown Season 21: Mid-Season Report

Almost pretty much exactly what my report cards looked like...

Welcome to Season 21, and thanks again for choosing Hometown.  Please take your seat and fasten your seat belt.  Make sure your seat back and folding tray are in their full upright position, as it's time for your winter break report card.  If you're unhappy with your grades and are seated near an emergency exit, please feel free to remove yourself from the blog.  The pitching, hitting, defense, and minors grades are related mainly to talent, not performance.  Draft slot is taken into consideration with draft grades.  Stock action refers to the remainder of this season based on current ML record and pace.  As always some have been ghost written due to poor scouting. 

NL WEST 
Helena Handbaskets
PITCHING: A
HITTING: A-
DEFENSE: D
DRAFT: Tyler Smyth, B. 28th.
MINORS: C+
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES: Starters have been dominating.  I wonder if Len Diaz is available?

Tacoma Sounds Puget 
PITCHING: C+
HITTING: C-
DEFENSE: C
DRAFT: Bernie Barnes, A. 3rd.
MINORS: B
STOCK: Strong Sell.
NOTES: Sounds Pukey, but playing great.

Arizona ford white broncos
PITCHING: C-
HITTING: B
DEFENSE: B
DRAFT: Andruw Hensley, C+. 6th.
MINORS: C
STOCK: Sell.
NOTES: Confused by the name...I think OJ is from L.A. ...and played football...

St. Louis Lunatics
PITCHING: B-
HITTING: F
DEFENSE: C-
DRAFT: Morgan Reynolds / Eric Green, B-. 16th / 23rd.
MINORS: B-
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES:  Playing on this team for long would make anyone a lunatic.

AL WEST
Salem Slims 
PITCHING: B-
HITTING: B
DEFENSE: A-
DRAFT: Vince Vosberg, B. 15th.
MINORS: B-
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES: Jeanmar?  I knew a girl named Marjean back when I was picking beans in Guatemala.

Sacramento Fresh Makers
PITCHING: C+
HITTING: B+
DEFENSE: A-
DRAFT: Reid Conine, B+. 26th.
MINORS: C+
STOCK: Sell.
NOTES: Not bad for trying to blow up the team.

Cheyenne McGees  
PITCHING: C+
HITTING: B+
DEFENSE: B
DRAFT: None, so F.
MINORS: A
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES: The Cheyenne people are native to the Great Plains.  (The more you know...)

Vancouver Primetimers
PITCHING: B
HITTING: B
DEFENSE: C+
DRAFT: None, so F.
MINORS: D
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES: They're playing more like late night paid programming than prime time.
NL SOUTH 
Texas Instruments
PITCHING: A-
HITTING: A-
DEFENSE: A-
DRAFT: Jaret Williams, C+. 29th.
MINORS: B
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES: Coincidentally I also recommend buying a TI-84.

Jacksonville Shufflers
PITCHING: A-
HITTING: C-
DEFENSE: B-
DRAFT: Taylor Munson, C+. 14th.
MINORS: C+
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES: If they can shuffle the dead weight out of town, they've got a chance.

Monterrey Jack Cheese
PITCHING: A-
HITTING: B+
DEFENSE: B-
DRAFT: Buddy Earley / Dutch Clements, B+. 20th / 27th.
MINORS: B+
STOCK: Strong Buy.
NOTES: This definitely isn't Queso Fresco.

Houston Hounds
PITCHING: D
HITTING: C-
DEFENSE: C
DRAFT: Magglio Wilfredo, B. 10th.
MINORS: B
STOCK: Sell.
NOTES:  You know it's a great division when you're not trying to win and you're only 10 games out.
AL SOUTH 
Little Rock Patriots
PITCHING: B
HITTING: A
DEFENSE: B
DRAFT: Tom Watkins, B. 22nd.
MINORS: B
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES: Absolute power.  But as they say, "absolute power chokes absolutely."  Or something like that.

Charlotte Banjo Hitters
PITCHING: C+
HITTING: B
DEFENSE: C
DRAFT: None, so F.
MINORS: B
STOCK: Sell.
NOTES: It might be time to take ol' Thom out of SS.

Memphis Mashers
PITCHING: B+
HITTING: C-
DEFENSE: A-
DRAFT: Johnny Olmos, B. 9th.
MINORS: B-
STOCK: Sell.
NOTES: It's smart business to sell a franchise who tries to cut future salary by waiving players without future contracts.

Tampa Bay Florida Retirees
PITCHING: B+
HITTING: C+
DEFENSE: A
DRAFT: Daric Stewart, C. 11th.
MINORS: C
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES:  Had a great Black Friday deal on Roger Clemens last week.  But I bought a TV instead.
NL EAST 
Pawtucket Patriot Ale
PITCHING: A
HITTING: B
DEFENSE: C+
DRAFT: J.D. Landrum, B. 25th.
MINORS: A
STOCK: Sell.
NOTES: So he might be good.  For 40 games.  Guess diamonds aren't forever.

New York Vinnies
PITCHING: B
HITTING: B-
DEFENSE: C+
DRAFT: Walker VandenHurk, B-. 17th.
MINORS: C
STOCK: Sell.
NOTES: Vinnies going to the playoffs?  Forgetaboutit.

Washington D.C. Senators
PITCHING: C-
HITTING: C-
DEFENSE: B
DRAFT: Adam Lesher, A. 12th.
MINORS: A
STOCK: Sell.
NOTES: Lesher was one of the better value picks of the draft.

Philadelphia Fighting Quakers
PITCHING: D
HITTING: B-
DEFENSE: F
DRAFT: McKay Wise, A. 4th.
MINORS: C-
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES:  Is that 3 good draft picks in a row?  Maybe Philly is turning a corner?  MmKay.
AL EAST 
Buffalo Wild Wings
PITCHING: A
HITTING: A
DEFENSE: A
DRAFT: None, so F.
MINORS: A-
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES: The only "A" Buffalo Wild Wings doesn't get is from the health inspector.

Chicago Curses
PITCHING: C+
HITTING: B+
DEFENSE: B
DRAFT: Dwight Guerrero, A-. 2nd.
MINORS: A
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES: Winner of "best off-season" award.  Which I just made up.

Wichita Gnats
PITCHING: C
HITTING: B
DEFENSE: C+
DRAFT: Bronson Kondou, A. 8th.
MINORS: B
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES: That prospect reminds me....Uh it's like...did anyone see that movie Kundun?  Me neither.

Richmond Cavaliers
PITCHING: B-
HITTING: B-
DEFENSE: D
DRAFT: Lazy Knight, C+. 5th.
MINORS: B+
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES:  I once knew a girl named "Lively Day."  Ironically, she was a lady of the night.
NL NORTH 
Madison Rowengartners
PITCHING: A
HITTING: A
DEFENSE: A-
DRAFT: Cameron Bailey, B. 32nd.
MINORS: A-
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES: If a ZJ is $15, how much is a Z-Ram?  $24 million, turns out.

Rochester Ramblers
PITCHING: A-
HITTING: C
DEFENSE: C+
DRAFT: Darryl Youkilis, B. 13th.
MINORS: D
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES: JJ's ERA is actually .12 below the average team WHIP.  So that's something.

Scranton Dundees
PITCHING: C
HITTING: C
DEFENSE: B
DRAFT: Theodore Gil / Al Everhart, A. 18th / 21st.
MINORS: B
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES: Winner of the "best draft value" award.  And no, I didn't make that one up.  Forgetaboutit.

Kansas City Tornados
PITCHING: C-
HITTING: C+
DEFENSE: C-
DRAFT: Boone Pestano, B-. 7th.
MINORS: B-
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES:  Technically a "C" is passing.
AL NORTH
Toronto FivTs
PITCHING: A
HITTING: A
DEFENSE: A-
DRAFT: None, so F.
MINORS: A+
STOCK: Strong Buy.
NOTES: This must be just boring by now, right?

Milwaukee MooMoos
PITCHING: B-
HITTING: A
DEFENSE: C
DRAFT: None, so F.
MINORS: C
STOCK: Buy.
NOTES: The sound a cow makes is very similar to the sound fans will make if Milwaukee misses the playoffs.

Cincinnati Red Stockings
PITCHING: C+
HITTING: C+
DEFENSE: A
DRAFT: Greg Helton, C+. 19th.
MINORS: C
STOCK: Hold.
NOTES: Little light on the red stocking stuffers this Christmas.

Montreal Midget Mafia
PITCHING: D
HITTING: D
DEFENSE: C-
DRAFT: Kirk Buchanan, A+. 1st.
MINORS: A
STOCK: Sell.
NOTES:  Last, and least.  For now.